So... you're thinking about IVF

So, you've come to THAT place in your life. You're trying to get pregnant & it's just not happening. It sucks. There's no two ways about it. You're sick of charting your basil body temps & you've peed on enough ovulation sticks that you know exactly to the second that you're ovulating. (ok... not to the second really, but it sure seems like it) You're sure you've timed it right month after month and every month you look at that pregnancy test and only see one line. One stupid, frustrating, single line.

You've talked to your gynecologist. You've done the tests. You may know why it's just not happening for you, or you might not. If you have an answer as to why, even though it may seem like the world threw you a nasty, at least you have an answer as to why. There are just too many that just get the "Unexplained Infertility" label. You've maybe tried an IUI or two or three or twelve... that's not working either. Then your gynecologist says those words... they come in two forms...

Form #1 ... I've taken this as far as I can. It's time to send you to a specialist.
Form #2 ... I think you should think about IVF at this point.

So... you go home & start scouring the internet like a fool. Maybe that's how you found this little blog... Welcome to the world of IVF. Frankly, I wish you weren't here. I wish you could've gotten pregnant on your very first try & you were happily pushing around a baby stroller. But... you're not. You're here with the rest of us. The good news is that there is a "rest of us." You're not alone. You're with a bunch of fun, smart, funny, and sarcastic women who all find their situations sounding freakishly like yours. Embrace these gals. That's the best advice I can give you. The people in your life who love you will try their best to understand & support you, but there's just nothing like talking to someone else who knows exactly what you're dealing with.

I think there are four big questions that are in every gal's mind when she starts thinking about IVF...

#1 ... What is the success rate?
#2 ... What is the cost?
#3 ... Am I going to get pregnant with 10?
#4 ... What about the shots?

Let me answer those the best I can & send you to a couple great resources...

First of all... what is the success rate of IVF? Here is the straight up truth. Ummmm... it depends. What a crappy answer, right? Sorry. The truth is, that every clinic is extremely different. Every age range is extremely different. Every diagnosis has its own difficulties. The best you can do is do lots of research. Unfortunately, it seems that the younger you are, the better chances of success you have. I say unfortunately because many of us find ourselves in this struggle in our 30's and 40's. It ends up that way after several years of "trying." I only wish we were all in our early 20's and knew we needed to just skip the years of trying & move directly to this step... but that's not the reality. Anyways, back to success rates. Check out the government publication at the CDC ART homepage. Did I just throw an acronym at you? It's an important one to know... ART... Assisted Reproductive Technology. The acronym describes it perfectly though. It's important to remember that ART is well, it's an ART form. Some doctors are better at it than others. That website is the data that the doctors are required to file with the government & then the government verifies it for accuracy. You may be bummed that the latest report is older than you'd hoped. The thing is... pregnancy is a 10 month-long process. So, if someone got pregnant in December 2009, they would give birth in late 2010... so they would have to wait until the end of 2010 to report the success of 2009 since the report includes live births... and then it takes time to verify. But the nice thing about this report is that it keeps everyone honest about results. You'll see clinics in there with a 10% success rate... all the way to a 50% success rate & higher.

So... question #2... How much does IVF cost? Are you ready for another crappy answer? Because here it comes again... it depends. Sorry. It really does. If you are lucky enough to have insurance that covers it (and most don't), you should do some dancing & singing in the streets. From what I've seen, most of us that pay out of pocket will end up somewhere around $12,000 a cycle. ARGH. Yuck. Eeeeew. Also, if you need donor eggs or sperm, that will add a couple thousand to that total. Most clinics do not publish their prices on-line & will not hit you with the price total until your initial consultation. But... if you're making this big of an investment, do you really want to go with the cheapest or the best? Here is one thing to keep in mind though... the medicine costs. You will probably see a price at the clinic that does not include medicine... and medicine for IVF is EXPENSIVE. My number above is what it costs me with medicine costs... so you'll probably go to a clinic & see a price tag of $6,000 to $10,000. Your meds are likely to cost you an additional $3,500 - $5,000. There is always the option of if you're in the US, you can go out of country and get IVF done cheaper. The decision is totally yours. Just remember to add in travel costs like airline, hotel, car rental & cost of time off work.

Question #3... and a better answer than the last two... Am I going to get pregnant with 10? NO WAY JOSE!!! And if you do, it would be completely your decision & what doctor did you go to anyways? Most reputable clinics will only transfer 1 or 2 embryos. Some (in some cases where there have been multiple failures) will occasionally transfer 3. That said, it is always discussed with you the patient way before the transfer & you will know exactly how many you're transferring. Now, I know that if you really want to get pregnant with 10, you can find a clinic that will transfer a bunch, but is that really in your best interest or the 10 babies' best interest? Now, there is always a possibility that if you put in 1, you could end up with identical twins... or two could split into 4. But ... listen carefully, the chances of that happening are the same as if you got pregnant naturally & had identical twins. Very remote. I'm not saying it can't or won't happen, but I'm saying that's the same chance you would have if you got pregnant naturally. Now, if twins run in your family, that may be something to take into consideration & discuss with your doctor. All that to say, you need to discuss with your doctor what you are comfortable with. And the biggest thing to remember is even if you transfer 2 or 3, the likelyhood of all of them turning into viable pregnancies, is low... But it is a possibility you need to be prepared for.

Last question... and for some of us dedicated wimps... one of the really important ones... What about the shots? The answer is.... LOTS of SHOTS! You read on websites that there are generally two phases to IVF. There is supression & then you do stimulation. I was naive to think that meant a shot a day for supression and then another shot during stimulation. I think I just about passed out when a virtual pharmacy showed up on my doorstep with a sharps container & multiple packages of needles. Here's the truth. Lots of shots. It will all depend on the IVF Protocol that your doctor decides to use. A typical protocol will go something like this... 1 shot per day for supression before your period starts for about 2 weeks. After your period starts, you will do 2 shots in the morning & then 2 or 3 shots in the evening for about 10-12 days. These shots are all sub-q shots meaning little tiny needles that you put in your stomach or thigh. Then you will go in for egg retrieval. Then you start the BIG shots that are inter-muscular... meaning the needles are 1 1/2 inches typically and they go into your hip. You will continue these until you go for a pregnancy test. If it's negative, you'll stop them & if it's positive, depending on your doctor, you could continue them for another 6-8 weeks. Ok... so while your head is swirling around all this, let me say, I'm the head dedicated wimp & I managed to do it... and survive it. You can do it too. I'll do another entry later with some pointers on shots & lessening the pain.

So, long-winded first post... but IVF is a long process. Welcome to the club.